Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
