he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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