can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
