so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
