his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
