Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
they need to just BURY HIM!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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