And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
