I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
