He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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