You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
