I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
