Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
