playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
