Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
