butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just gargled with NyQuil
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
