Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize