All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
