i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
