ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
