He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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