oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Holy shit dude........stairs
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
