3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize