This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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