When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize