So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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