Whod you bang
He kissed a someone with a penis
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
