Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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