She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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