Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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