I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
