it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
