I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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