You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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