How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
