girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
