Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
