Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
