We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize