normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize