I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just had sex on a roof
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
