so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
