matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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