Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
