dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
