I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
