you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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