That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
