What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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