From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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