It's just like the Real World with babies
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
