no, he came in my armpit
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
