My sheets look like a crime scene.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
