her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
