I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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