I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
