You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
