I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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