I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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