Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
