Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
