I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
