Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
