she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
