sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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