Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Randomize