He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
