Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
