My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
