Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
