At least make sure they are 18
Why
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
