at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
